When your wedding dress breaks the internet

when the biggest day of your life goes viral and what you can learn about owning your choices in front of the world

Jul 27, 2023

On the 20th of May (just over two months ago) I married my lovely husband in a gorgeous private affair in London. It was the day I daydreamed about and more, but I didn’t realise what was to come...

Our love affair was full of napkin swinging, celebrations, constantly filled-up champagne flutes bubbling away, a chocolate coffee and cream heart-shaped wedding cake, polaroid cameras, a giant Studio 54 disco ball, and pineapple picantes to usher us onto the dancefloor. In true Jackie style (and new friends, you’ll quickly find out what that means), I switched from my martini-shaped cocktail Amina Muaddi heels within an hour into my trusty silver space cowgirl boots.

Looking back now, I’m glad everything that happened to me on that day happened afterwards because I was on a complete high until I found out the news that would shift me into another dimension forever.

Soon after, we went to Paris on our mini-moon: morning coffee on the balcony of our hotel overlooking the gorgeous view of the Louvre; croissants bigger than my head; champagne and frog legs for lunch. For me, nothing could disrupt this moment.

Until I noticed I started to receive even more messages on Instagram, no longer ‘’Congratulations Jackie!’’, but more:

‘’Just checking in, have you seen this?’’

‘’Are you ok?’’

‘’Didn’t want to ruin your honeymoon but just wanted you to see this’’.

I click on the links curious and there it is, me walking down the aisle on our wedding day in my dress. As of today, one of the videos has 2.1 million views on Youtube.

I was on different Instagram pages, TikTok, and Nigerian newspapers, and millions of people attacked me, my dress, those trusty space cowgirl boots, and my bouquet. You name it, everything was up for grabs.

My wedding dress went viral.

It was giving Kim K Break - the Nigerian internet but making- it- a -Pastor's -daughter.

I was publicly bollocked by thousands that my dress was ‘’not acceptable for a white wedding’’ especially when your dad is a pastor (which he is) and because of that I’m a ‘’disgrace’’ and other comments. (it’s all on the internet for you to see how people felt).

We had a strict social media policy at the wedding and I had many conversations with my father about not posting - it was a promise to me out of respect for my deserved privacy - but unfortunately my father decided to ignore that request and post the most intimate moment of the wedding everywhere, which benefited his ‘’image’’ greatly and hurt me deeply.

My mum was getting attacked and external friends of the family, who said they liked my dress, started to retract and question why I wore it, even though they said they liked it on the day.

What a head f*ck?

I had never gone viral ever, I have 0 interest in that experience, yet like most people in this world we will all have our 5 minutes of going viral, and here was mine, on my wedding day.

I won’t sugarcoat it and tell myself a universal truth to make myself feel better, it sucked.

I felt like I grew up overnight which taught me two lessons here:

1) Sometimes the outside world likes to encourage you to dislike yourself for the choices you make. (Note: you don’t have to dislike yourself!)

and 2) If you have a parent that never respected boundaries in the first place they will always be that way. Your wedding day is no exception, but let us focus on (1) today.

I’ll set the record straight.

I wore *that* dress not because it was controversial or because I was trying to be rebellious or to go viral, but because this is who I am. This is what I like.

Why am I myself? Good question.

Well, Oliver Burkeman said: ''It’s a dizzying matter of coincidence upon coincidence.''

I am someone who likes to take risks, experiment and express. Even if it’s on my wedding day, I’ll always try anything once.

I wanted to be a fun a$$ bride, damnit.

I wanted to redefine what bridal looked like to me.

I wasn’t dressing for anyone but myself, and side note: the husband loved it (so frankly, who cares?).

And so yes, I’m a ‘’handful’’ because I often choose to be part of the people who will go against the tide rather than with it. That can result in backlash, judgement, and criticism.

Many people on their Pinterest boards are inspired by dainty, hair slicked-back-in-a-bun brides, you know, barely there Sophia Ritchie glam, clean makeup, and Manolo’s which is fine.

But on mine? Chloë Sevigny. Victoria Beckham. Camille Charriere.

Inspired by Chloë’s wedding choice to have Cala Lillies instead of a bouquet. Victoria Beckham’s Vivienne Westwood corset at her 1999 wedding to David Beckham. That Camille Charriere sheer wedding dress energy, except make it a busty bride, or what I like to call myself a dress- however-the-hell-you-want-bride.

All of that to say, despite everything that happened, I wouldn’t change anything because everything I wore I loved and enjoyed, and I will never argue with myself on that. Even if people’s opinions make you want to hate your own decision. Don’t. We give them too much power by giving in, I nearly fell prey to that, and then I checked myself.

The critique of my wedding dress actually strengthened my own voice and desires for myself. It showed me again who I am in the face of adversity.

Maybe you’re engaged already or want to get married one day.

If I’ve learned anything from this experience, I would say if you want to wear a black dress, have 5 outfits, have Madonna-inspired cone tits on your dress be a dress however the hell you want bride, then you should go for it.

Just know I’m hyping you from the sidelines, been there parked the red fiat punto.

or as Janelle Monae once sang: ‘’You can’t police me, so get off my areola’’.

Now, how's that for being more than a handful?

Jackie x

More Than Handful Links:

Where I recommend celebrities, artists, and creatives to inspire you who keep showing the world that they’re a handful and expressing themselves and living life on nobody’s terms but their own <3

Watch:

Grace Jones being interviewed in 1985 and her performance on The Russell Harty Show. The way she intimidates him with her confidence is the sexiest thing ever. She was so ahead of the curve.

Read:

This Vulture profile of Drew Barrymore who is known for her incredibly unique interview style and refreshing energy she brings to daytime. Call her whatever you want to call her, but she’s simply being Drew.

Listen:

Andi Oliver & Miquita Oliver - the iconic mother-daughter duo’s brand new podcast ‘‘Stirring it Up’’ where they talk to friends and celebs over food cooked by Andi & cocktails created by Miquita about community and career. The first episode with Jordan Stephens & Ayishat Akanbi is too good.

What I can’t get out of my head this week:

This 2018 GQ Profile of Quincy Jones, is hilarious and iconic. He talks about hanging with Frank Sinatra, being besties with Ray Charles, Malcolm X supplying him with drugs, and having 15 girlfriends all over the world and he says ‘’motherfucker’’ about 80 times. His creative vision is unmatched.